trial

Natural disasters are not subtle. They come sweeping in with an unpredictable fury leaving destruction, devastation, and chaos. That’s what I had always believed. Earthquakes, tidal waves, hurricanes, tornadoes and other natural disasters have always had widespread coverage in the news. I was familiar with these stories so when the hairline cracks appeared in the foundation of my childhood home during the spring when I turned sixteen, I wasn’t worried.

The street I lived on, which bordered a hill had slight changes to it’s original positioning and several of our neighbors had been noticing minor cracks in their foundations and shifting on their land. “The land is probably just settling,” was a phrase I heard several times. Specialists, like the state project geologist came out and surveyed the land. They measured the cracks with special equipment and looked at the five homes on our street who were effected. At first they didn’t say much, so I assumed everything would be fine. 

I was wrong.

Those hair line cracks in the foundation, as subtle and inconspicuous as they appeared to be, started to separate at a rapid rate by late summer. One home after another was being condemned. The experts continued to monitor the land, but they couldn’t figure out what was causing the ground underneath us to shift. When our house was condemned, we were given 24 hours to evacuate.

About a week after we moved, a 10 foot drop separated the front of our foundation from the back of the foundation. The only home I had ever known was gone. 

Almost two decades later and I can still remember packing up my house in a fit of adrenaline during the day. Into the silent night hours I worked with my parents. Boxes upon boxes left our house of things that you accumulate over a lifetime. We didn’t have much time to sort and since we had no where to go, most things got packed away and sent to a storage shed.

That was the first time I had ever stayed awake for two days straight, but I didn’t even feel tired. It was surreal. I packed fervently which kept my mind busy. I didn’t have time to think or let the emotions of what was happening impact me. The house creaked and groaned around us, as it was literally being ripped apart. I still remember the sound of my dad cutting the bolts that secured the back of the house to the foundation, to give us more time. 

We were going to loose everything. The insurance company claimed the landslide to be, “an act of God” and said it wasn’t covered.

I emptied drawers.

I boxed up closets. 

I cleaned out cabinets. 

I hugged neighbors and childhood friends goodbye. 

I packed up my bedroom. 

I carried Mitzi from our home and hid her in the hotel we lived in for two weeks (what else could we do with a cat who also lost her home?)

I signed my name to a baseboard in my bedroom. 

And I said goodbye to my home.

Our house was small and modest with a little carport and three big windows in the front that looked into my bedroom. From the outside it probably didn’t seem like much, but it wasn’t just a house. It was my home, a place where I could climb into my favorite tree for sanctuary in my backyard. A place that had the best Little Mermaid rock in the world. It had the bedroom I had shared with my sister where we played Malarky and Hu-watch-ee-foo, and did Christmas concerts with our stuffed animals. Sure, we had gotten older and I finally had the room to myself when my sister left for college. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was all I knew and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

But I had to.  

Disasters in life

Everyone in life has disasters. Some are obvious and come rampaging in and the devastation that happens is very apparent to an outsiders point of view. I had always thought of a landslide this way, where tons of rocks, mud, and water come rushing down a hill crushing and engulfing anything in it’s path. This I learned isn’t always the case. Disasters can also be subtle, but just as devastating. I’m sure we can all relate to the current situation of a worldwide pandemic. This trial started with news stories of a virus in far away countries that ended up creeping it’s way to our very own doorstep.

At sixteen years old, my life had been turned upside down. I started my junior year of high school living in a hotel. The American Red Cross paid for the hotel to help my parents get on their feet and until we found an apartment to rent. 

My parents took this time to evaluate more than just our living situation. After two weeks of living in the hotel they found an apartment, and soon after they told my sister and I they were going to get a divorce. This is when all the emotions I had held at bay swept in. Was it a surprise they wanted a divorce? Absolutely not. My parent’s rocky relationship was a known fact, it was more a matter of when things would end rather than if. Even though I knew it would eventually happen, it didn’t change the finality of it.

The only world I had ever known was literally crumbling in front of me. My home was gone, and my dad wouldn’t be living with us. It was all gone. Any illusion of my former life had been uprooted and destroyed. 

Whether the disasters we face come rampaging in or come at us slowly and unassuming, how do we survive these events without crumbling?

Building Our Foundation

For several years after the landslide one question kept resurfacing in my mind:

How had our families foundation been as faulty as the foundation we built our home on? I’m talking about the personal stuff that went on within the walls of my childhood home.

So I ask you now: how is your foundation? How is the foundation of your family? Is it where you want it to be?

What if I told you that there was a different house on our very same lot that had been deemed unstable and was moved away before my parents built our house? As crazy as that sounds, it is true! The foundation of the old home was ripped from the ground and the land put up for auction. My parents were reassured that as long as they built the house further up on the lot and closer to the road they would not have a problem.

I’ve noticed far too often the heart breaking scene of people shaping their lives with faulty foundations. Foundations that have already been proven that they cannot hold and will collapse. People lost and suffering due to drug addiction, pornography, and other such things are all around us. We all have known someone in these circumstances, whether it be a friend or a loved one. Or perhaps it is you that finds yourself in a place in which you feel lost and desperate. These devices are tools Satan uses to weaken our foundations. Feeling hopeless is exactly what the adversary wants, but it’s a lie.

It is never too late to start strengthening our foundations. It doesn’t matter if you are in a good place now, or in the depths of despair. We only need to start with a prayer. It’s that simple.

Christ loves us and he will come swiftly to our aid and fill any cracks that threaten our foundation.

What hairline cracks are compromising your foundation? Your families foundation? You might notice small ones that have a simple fix. Others might be overwhelming to try to take on any sort of solution right now. But I urge you to start patching one crack at a time, focus on what you can do. The reality is that we can’t do it alone, and that is okay! With faith, our Savoir can patch any foundation that is lacking.

I urge us all to find those hairline cracks in our foundations. They can be so unassuming, barely worth a second thought. The reality, however, is they could end up tearing us apart. Satan knows our weaknesses, he sees where our foundation is failing. We need to prepare for the day when he intends to exploit those weaknesses. With a firm foundation, we cannot fall!

The storms and whirlwinds that plague us may come from choices we have made or from outside forces that are not in our control. In the end though, it doesn’t matter because the answer is the same. Christ.

And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

Matthew 7:25

All those years ago I decided not to crumble. I decided to hold my head up and overcome. I had faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. At times I barely felt like I was surviving, while other times I found peace and eventually joy! It is possible to find happiness, no matter how hard the rain is beating us down or what disaster we may face. You may not find it immediately, but don’t give up. This does not mean ignoring your sorrow and pain, (see Letting Ourselves Grieve) but finding hope and the Saviors light in the dark is always possible. He can ease our burdens and lighten the unbearable load we carry… if we let him. We must choose to focus on Christ and not the storm raging around us. When it seems as though our foundation is slipping out beneath us, turn to Christ. He will lift us when we need it the most.

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