LDS

Faith in Our Heavenly Father, the Master Gardener

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Today I feel like telling you a little story.

Once upon a time my sister gave me three little baby sunflower starts. I was excited and knew exactly where I wanted to plant them. They were going on the south side of my house, by the porch where everyone walking by could see. They were going to look amazing!

I weeded and tilled the ground, thinking only of the end results. In my haste, I overlooked some very important details. I planted these baby sunflowers between a western fence and a large shade tree to the east. In the beginning these little flowers grew strong, undeterred by the limited sunlight. By late summer however, they began to struggle.

The three sunflowers before they bloomed (except for the first sunflower with it’s sad blossom)

Normally I’m pretty good about paying attention to how much sunlight exposure a plant will get along with other conditions before planting. For some reason this time, I failed to look into those details as much as I should.

The first sunflower gave up trying to reach the sun. It seemed content to have only a few hours of sunlight midday when the sun was high in the sky. Once the sun dipped below the fence in late afternoon, the flower was completely cut off from any sunlight. It still tried to bloom, but soon withered before it’s flower could reach it’s full beauty. I couldn’t help but feel bad for the flower. Little did it know that in less than a foot it could have surpassed the fence and flourished in sunlight. It seemed to give up too soon.

The second sunflower had been planted the same distance from the fence as the first flower, but it seemed determined to find the light. It reached for the sun by what ever means possible. It bent and bowed and basked in the sun. It’s stem wasn’t straight and leaned to the side, but that sunflower blossomed! This flower worked hard and was persistent, never giving up! It was planted right beside the first sunflower, who never made it to the sun, but it decided it wanted a different fate than its companion. This flower may not be like other sunflowers which are straighter, taller, seemingly more perfect, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

Then there was the third sunflower. This sunflower grew straight and tall and also bloomed gloriously. After looking at the picture one might be inclined to assume that this flower did so well because it had the most light. Don’t forget the tree I mentioned earlier. It blocked all morning light, well past noon. This flower still did not get the recommended 6-8 hours of sun light per day needed by a sunflower, yet it thrived. This flower, which appears so strong and tall, could have struggled too, but it didn’t. It didn’t reach sideways, knowing it could reach more light. It simply waited until late afternoon- knowing the sun would come.

Our Master Gardener

I am a novice gardener. I did not consider that these poor plants might struggle. Unlike what these plants had, our Gardener is perfect! He is no novice, he knows how much light we need to grow to reach our full potential. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t make mistakes! Now this doesn’t mean that every single one of us has been planted in ideal circumstances. On the contrary! Our soil may be too rocky or not as fertile as other peoples. Perhaps there has been more shade and not a lot of exposure to the gospel. But our Gardener, our loving Heavenly Father, has made it possible for us to take root no matter the circumstances, regardless of how rough or shaded our terrain may be. He has provided the light if we only search for it. Don’t give up too soon, no situation is too hopeless! The light is there. Bend and reach, just like that second sunflower if you must.

Like these flowers, are we doing all we can to bask in the light of Christ? Our redeemer, the light of the world, is shining down on us at all times. It is up to us to choose and accept that light.

Some of us may be like the third flower, where following the gospel and reaching for the light comes naturally. These people have faith that light will always be there. Others may be more like the second flower, bending and reaching, having faith that the light is there but not always sure where to find it. Then of course there are those of us like the first sunflower, never finding the light and doing the best they can with what they’ve got.

Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Shaded times will come

There are many lessons I have learned in life, and one of them is that shade will come. There will be times where the skies are overcast and hope feels distant. Many of us have a hard time feeling our Heavenly Father’s love during these times and feeling the light we so desperately thirst for. I believe that none of us truly have a strong, rail straight stalk, just like the third flower. In reality we are all bending and twisting around life’s obstacles, being led by faith.

Just because the clouds are there, doesn’t mean the sun has disappeared. Christ is there, He is always there.

“Even though we may feel lost in the midst of our current circumstances, God promises the hope of His light—He promises to illuminate the way before us and show us the way out of darkness… I testify that with Christ, darkness cannot succeed. Darkness will not gain victory over the light of Christ. I bear witness that darkness cannot stand before the brilliant light of the Son of the living God!”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Hope of God’s Light
Image by meowz from Pixabay

There is light within us

I have always loved sunflowers. They are so cheerful and bright! These flowers seem to exude their own light, as their heads follow the sun across the sky. When smaller sunflowers are cut and on display in a vase, they seem to brighten a room.

We have each been born with the Light of Christ within us. The discerning mind to recognize good from evil. A light to shine for others during their times of darkness. We are all unique and beautiful, despite our flaws.

Our beloved Father in Heaven has given us the Light of Christ. And deep within each one of us, a heavenly stirring urges us to turn our eyes and hearts to Him as we make the pilgrimage back to our celestial home.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Light of Christ

Let us always turn our heads toward the Lord, shining forth our light in hope and faith. He will always be there.

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

“He is the light and the life of the world; yeah, a light that can never be darkened…”

Mosiah 16:9, The Book of Mormon

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The Notorious Cooking Spray

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Did I wait 30 min for my grocery pickup today? Yes.

Did the Walmart worker drop the cooking spray and break it’s lid? Yes.

Did he then come to my drivers side window and spray it into the air to prove it still works. Yes.

Did the wind blow the cooking spray into my car and all over my face and glasses? Yes.

Did I still keep the cooking spray with no lid when he asked if I still wanted it? Yes- yes I did.

I found this little gem in my Facebook history. It was something I wrote about a year ago and it still makes me laugh! I remember this day all too well! Let me give you a little back story; this day had already been horrible! I was in a bad mood (no, I’m not perfect!) While waiting for our groceries, my kids had escalated to full on screaming fits. I was desperate to get my groceries and go home.

Then the Walmart associate sprayed me in the face.

I LAUGHED.

I could have gotten angry. I could have yelled. I could have even cried. My personalty is more of the type to stay silent and let my anger simmer. However, none of these things happened. I don’t know why, but the exact opposite came to be. This event actually cheered me up! I was able to find the humor despite all the negative leading up to this moment.

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I hope we can all find the humor in life. Especially when we are in a bad mood!

Oh, and for the record… There ain’t no way I was giving that cooking spray back. I had already paid for it! I wasn’t about to send the worker back into the depths of Walmart to fetch a new one while my children assaulted my ears with their war cries. Nope, I took that sucker home and it still worked just as well without a lid.

Would you have kept the cooking spray? No judgement! I’m just curious, I’ve had several people tell me they were shocked that I kept it. Comment below and tell me if you would or wouldn’t have kept it.

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Letting Ourselves Grieve

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Grief.

We have all experienced the downs that inevitably come with life. Death, loss… My heart is full as I have pondered this topic. The truth is, I can spout positive words all day long on my blog, but none of it will make a difference unless we address grief. Grief is felt when we have experienced loss of a loved one, or experienced some sort of tragedy in our life. We grieve over what was lost and the future that could have been.

Sadness, despair, pain, anguish, hopelessness, desperation, distress, unhappiness, sorrow, anger, guilt, numbness, despondence. There are so many words to describe our feelings and emotions that emerge while we grieve… and yet these descriptions never seem adequate. Soul tormenting grief rips at us from the inside out, breaks our very being, and threatens to drag us under. It can feel like we are drowning on dry ground and are unable to find a helping hand. Sometimes we don’t want to find a helping hand.

Like all of you, I have stared grief in the face many times through out my life. In When Foundations Fail, I mention losing my house in a landslide and my parents divorce when I was a teenager. In my adult years I have continued to lose much. Including my precious Emily Elizabeth, my daughter who was born at twenty-one weeks gestation and died in my arms, after living a miraculous nine minutes. Does this make me an expert on grief? Absolutely not. Grief is something I am familiar with and yet I feel completely inadequate even writing about.

In the midst of hardship I don’t need to tell you it will be okay.

I don’t need to tell you it will heal with time.

I don’t need to tell you to count your blessings.

I don’t need to tell to you seek solace in loved ones.

All of these things have their place in the grief process, it is true. Turn to those things when you are ready, but first stop trying to ignore and brush off what you are feeling. It is okay to FEEL! Let those emotions take over, experience them. You are completely validated in feeling the way you do! Be sad, cry, and feel that anguish. Feel angry if you need to! Be angry over what was taken from you and what could have been.

“Grief hurts, but it can be the salve that helps us heal when it is allowed to do it’s work appropriately. The first step in handling grief is to recognize that the pain is a normal part of the process. It needs to be acknowledged, not avoided.”

Steven Eastmond, The Healing Power of Grief

There are many things we grieve throughout life: death, loss of a job, loss of a friendship or relationship, worldwide pandemics, natural disasters, loss of health, and other life changes or tragedies that hit close to home or far away. We must remember not to compare our adversities or trials to those of another.

If you are struggling over something that seems like it should be so simple to handle, stop being so hard on yourself! So many times I have heard someone say “well yeah, but my problems no way compare to those of my neighbors.” Comparing trials may give us perspective and help us feel better knowing it could be worse, but it doesn’t take away the fact that we are struggling now and need to grieve.

If we don’t address our emotions in these situations, they could end up prolonging the healing process. Like a shaken soda bottle, they can bubble up later because we held them in for so long.

What does the grieving process look like?

There is no simple answer to this question. I could go back to my nursing school days and tell you the textbook answer of grief has five basic stages, based off the Kubler-Ross grief cycle:

  • Denial- Avoiding
  • Anger- Pent up and avoided emotions explode
  • Bargaining- With God, others, or oneself, desperately attempting to find a solution
  • Depression- Reality sinks in, along with the finality of it
  • Acceptance- The upward turn, finding a way to move forward

This can give us a basic idea of grief, but humanity is much more complicated with infinite emotions we can cram into this cycle. These stages can happen in any order, and some people don’t experience all of the stages.

What can we learn from this? We need to be patient with ourselves! When something horrible happens to us, no matter how big or small, we can’t expect to feel fine and dandy right away. There is no set time for how long the grief process lasts or how long any of these stages can take.

Grief is the emotional, and often physical, response we have when we experience loss… Grief can involve virtually every emotion or can leave us feeling numb and disconnected from the world around us.

Steven Eastmond, The Healing Power of Grief
Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Grieving is unique and individual

Two adult siblings who lose a parent, may respond completely differently in the grief process. One may jump to action, busying themselves with tasks and reaching out to friends and family. The other sibling may wall themselves in at home, ignoring calls and messages. Neither way of grieving is incorrect.

A common mistake is to compare our grief to another. We assume we should react differently when we see others, who appear to be “functioning” better than we are. Additionally, just because a person is “functioning” well, doesn’t mean their grief isn’t felt as deeply. Being patient with ourselves and with others, while grieving, can make a tremendous difference when unexpected emotions arise.

As a nurse, I’ve been witness to complete strangers in their grief . I’ve seen sobbing, wailing, lots of anger, detachment, and a whole slew of other responses. Two of the most memorable moments in my career came in the dark hours of a night shift. During each experience, my pediatric patient was sleeping well and I had snuck in to their room, to hook up an IV antibiotic or other medication. My plan was to stay about five minutes, in order to finish my task, and then be on my way. Instead, I’d emerged from each room over an hour later. I had found a grieving parent seeking solace in my presence. With their child asleep, the walls of strength they had constructed for the benefit of their child, had come crashing down. I had no wisdom to give them in those moments, just a listening ear as they expressed their fears.

Having opportunities like these is humbling, and I wish they gave me more answers about the grieving process. Honestly though, the best I can say is to love ourselves and others during those difficult times. Don’t give up. Even through the darkest times, when we can barely breathe, light will come. With an eternal perspective, there is light at the end of the tunnel. We can’t always see it, but it is there.

Have Faith

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,

The deeper the grief, the closer is God!”

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

It is my hope we do not shut out our Heavenly Father during tragedy. I once had a friend tell me in anger, that she no longer wanted Gods help. She had lost her home, career, and filed for bankruptcy. She told me she wanted nothing to do with God anymore and that she would get everything back without God’s help. If we find ourselves on that slippery slope, filled with anger and desperation, we must find a way to kneel and plead with our Heavenly Father instead of shutting him out.

It is possible to move on from tragedy without the Lords help. But how much easier will it be if we use the atonement to ease our burdens? Henry B. Eyring put it so well in this beautiful testimony:

Even when you feel the truth… and kindness of the Lord to deliver you in your trials, it may still test your courage and strength to endure. The Prophet Joseph Smith cried out in agony in a dungeon: “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?”

The Lord’s reply has helped me and can encourage us all in times of darkness. Here it is: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.“

I have seen faith and courage come from a testimony that it is true that we are being prepared for eternal life. The Lord will rescue His faithful disciples. And the disciple who accepts a trial as an invitation to grow and therefore qualify for eternal life can find peace in the midst of the struggle.

Henry B. Eyring, Adversity

What an amazing perspective to have during difficult times! We all must endure to the end. Although these trials are “but a small moment”, while we are living them, they feel like so much more. Allowing ourselves to grieve and turn to the Lord, will bring peace and help us find light in the darkness.

Grief isn’t about dealing with our emotions so we can return to our old selves. Grief is like reconstructing a jigsaw puzzle, one painful piece at a time. In some places the pieces that once matched no longer fit together, but we make do. In the end, the puzzle’s image is not the same as it was, but it is still just as unique and important. We emerge from grief changed and different, hopefully stronger. It is our decision to let grief refine and improve us, or leave us cynical and hard heartened. It will leave scars, this is inevitable, but those scars don’t have to keep us from moving forward.

In Isaiah 53:4, it states, “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows”. The Savoir can help us reconstruct the jigsaw puzzle and fill in the pieces that are completely missing. We can find hope in Him when it appears there is no hope.

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Parenting at Our Wits’ End

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Do I like my kids? Now, please don’t judge me too harshly on the days I answer with an emphatic “no” to this question! I wish I could remember who posed this question to me years ago so I could give them credit, but it is a great question to ask yourself to see where you currently stand in your parenting.

For me this is situational, there are times the answer is, YES! Other times I’m ashamed to say the answer is no. Parenthood is a selfless act that leaves us feeling drained and defeated. My kids know all too well how to push just the right buttons to get my blood boiling. Many times the afternoon hours drag on way too long and we count down the minutes until we can put our kids to bed and get that much needed “me time” in.

Right now we have no escape from our home bound children. Because of the Covid-19 pandemic we can’t get away from them! Social media is flooded with mom’s venting over their frustrations of being confined to their homes with no other outlets and their children driving them bonkers.

The challenges of quarantine heighten our emotions and makes parenting so much more difficult. Because obviously, parenting wasn’t even easy before the pandemic! Right now I’m surviving on a day by day basis. Some days I’m a stellar mom, I’m engaged all day long and we do fun activities. Other days we are in our pj’s the whole day and the TV is turned on the entire time. My temper flares more often than I would care to admit, and there are days where multiple kids are having melt downs- ALL. DAY. LONG! At the end of the really bad days it is easy to fall into guilt trip mode and feel like I have failed.

Years ago in an act of desperation I started researching out self help parenting books and different discipline methods. I wanted to enjoy my kids and not feel defeated every day. Have you ever looked into parenting advice? The internet and book stores are flooded with parenting tricks that promise miracles. Everyone has an opinion on this topic. Even random strangers, at the grocery store, have been known to offer unsolicited advice to frantic, disheveled moms, with misbehaving children in tow. The list of must do’s and never do’s as a parent are never ending:

  • Be consistent, follow through with the rules!
  • Let your child fail!
  • Model the behavior you want them to have, lead by example!
  • Keep your own emotions in check!
  • Be actively engaged!
  • Spend quality time with each child!
  • Keep a strict bedtime!
  • No more than two hours of screen time a day!
  • Practice positive reinforcement!

… You get the idea. The list goes on and on and much of the advice can actually conflict with each another: don’t spank, do spank! Don’t co-sleep, do co-sleep! To make things more difficult, every child is different! What works with my oldest definitely doesn’t work with my middle child. I can read parenting books and feel so inspired. Then a situation arises and I am deflated. “This wasn’t talked about in the book! What should I do now?” The hardest part, however, is when I fail to do many of the things that really do make a good parent. This inevitably leads to more guilt. No matter how many times I promise myself I will be a better parent, I end up letting myself down. The guilt of another bad day weighs on my shoulders.

We feel this way because we love our children beyond description and feel like they deserve so much more than what we have to offer. We feel like we are bled dry and have no more to give, and yet we still tell ourselves that we are coming up short in the parent department. How is it that we give so much and yet still feel that it isn’t enough?

Go easy on yourself. It’s okay if you aren’t a perfect parent. Tomorrow is always a new day. When we find ourselves in challenging circumstances, the best we can do is take it one day at a time. We must forgive ourselves for the bad days and try again the next day. Parenthood is a job we always show up for. There are times when we just want to hide under our covers, but we still show up. Because we have to. Because we love our children. It’s okay if we can’t muster the energy to put together great activities and experiences for our children every single day. It’s okay that some days we are in survival mode, as long as we recognize our limits.

What can we do when our emotions threaten to take over?

Simply surviving can be scary. While in survival mode we are stressed, and our emotions are on the verge of complete takeover. As a parent, this is not always a good thing. We can lose control and become the type of parent we never wanted to be.

I’d like to share a little story about a time in my life where I became all too familiar with survival mode as a parent.

I became a divorced single mom at the age of twenty-five. I rented a quaint little town home perched on the side of a mountain, a place I felt safe to raise my two-year old daughter. We were blessed at this time. I had just finished nursing school, passed the nursing boards, and had finished my training at the children’s hospital, where I still work to this day. In order to be with my daughter more, I worked night shifts. The shifts were twelve hours long, but as any nurse will tell you, that number is deceiving. At the twelve hour mark is when I would start giving report to the oncoming nurse. If I had a good day, I would be able to leave after about twelve and a half hours of working. On a busier shift I would have to catch up on charting and finish tying up loose ends, making my shift much longer.

This time of my life is a blur. Sure, I got to see my sweet little girl more than most single moms, but I was desperately sleep deprived. I would wake up with my little early riser at seven each morning, be with her all day, and go to work that night to start my shift at 7:00pm. When I got home from work the next morning my wonderful mom, who spent the night babysitting, would have to leave for work, so I still wouldn’t sleep. Three times a week I would be up for about thirty-two hours. I’d get naps in here in there, but it was rough. My daughter went with her dad every other weekend, so I was able to sleep a bit more between shifts at those times, but it was never enough.

Before my daughters third birthday she went through a phase of waking at about 2am every single night. Just so you understand, this wasn’t an “ignore her and she’ll fall back asleep” awakening. This was an “up for hours trying to get this wide awake tantrum throwing child back to bed”.

The problem was I needed this time. The few nights a week I actually got a full nights sleep, I needed a full nights sleep! I’d wake delirious and what I like to refer to as “Monster Mom” would emerge. I am not proud of Monster Mom, but she tends to come out when I am exhausted and need sleep. I tried so hard to bury Monster Mom deep within (knowing if she emerged getting my daughter to sleep would be ten times harder). But in those dark hours of the night I wasn’t always successful. After over a month of this I was brought to tears. On one specific night after her usual awakening, I was able to get her back to sleep and successfully sneak out of her room and crawl back into my bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow my daughter started crying out again. The tears welled and poured down my cheeks as I waited to see if she would go back to sleep. She didn’t. I dragged my exhausted body from the bed, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I sank to my knees on the floor outside of my daughters bedroom and sobbed to my Heavenly Father pleading for help. “What should I do?” I prayed.

Peace flooded over me as the tears abruptly came to a stop.

“Just love her.”

The words were spoken clearly in my mind. It was not my voice but that of the Holy Ghost. The words were clear, loving, and strong.

I was able to stand and have the strength needed to go comfort my little girl for that night, and many nights more, until she started sleeping through the night again.

“Just love her,” are words I have turned to in my parenting many times since. There are always unpleasant childhood phases I don’t have control over. Just like when she wasn’t sleeping through the night. This same daughter will be thirteen this year and these unpleasant phases come and go all the time! I’ve learned I can’t “fix” my child. Especially as she has grown older and exercises her own agency, I can’t make her do what I want. I can guide, direct, and lead by example. Obviously, discipline is often in the equation too. What it mostly comes down to however, is this simple phrase, “just love her.”

“To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon our Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day and as you deal with the challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them.”

President Thomas S. Monson

As parents we all have desperate moments where we feel helpless. We can feel at our whits end and have no idea what to do. Our patience is gone and we are fed up. Monster Mom, or Dad, has emerged. At these desperate times who better to turn to than our Heavenly Father for parenting advice?

There are times we have to stop trying to parent, stop trying to fix things and just love. We have to learn to let go of perfection and the ideal picture of what a parent should be. That person doesn’t exist. You are what your child needs and you have what it takes! Every day doesn’t have to be perfect- instead strive for perfect moments. Moments of quality interaction, moments of tenderness, moments of love. Show love to your children! If you build these moments into your day, then when the bad moments strike- your children will never doubt your love for them. They will be so much more resilient if Monster Mom does end up making an appearance, because a couple of negative outbursts can never outweigh all the love you have shown them.

“Just love them,” is a phrase that has kept coming to my mind during the past several weeks of social distancing. My patience as a mom has been tested at a whole new level! On the bad days I have to remind myself what is most important, and that is love. Jesus taught us how to teach with love and guide by love. As an imperfect human, following His example takes practice on a daily basis.

When we feel the emotions starting to bubble up, we need to recognize our limits, turn to the Lord, and adjust our plans accordingly:

What if Covid-19 induced home school has to be put on hold for a day? –Oh well!

What if you were dealing with a tantruming toddler all evening only to find out that he just needed to be held and you can’t get dinner started? –Who cares, getting take out is an option!

What if you have to wait to discipline your disrespectful teenager until after you calm down? -Walking away shows more love than screaming at them when we have completely lost control and say things in anger we never should say.

What if Monster Mom emerged and you know it’s a good possibility it may happen again before the day is through? –Turn on the TV and just cuddle your little ones. Sometimes the TV is better when we know we aren’t in control.

These are just some silly examples, but adjusting our original plan to what will help us succeed when we are hanging on by a thread makes us good parents.

Learning to respond to our children with love, when they have pushed our buttons, can be hard! I am going to tell you the honest truth, none of us are perfect at it! We must love ourselves, forgive ourselves, wipe the slate clean after each bad moment or day and try again. Turn to the Lord. Look into your child’s eyes and feel the love they have for you! Despite every miss step and bad parenting moment your child still loves you!

“Parenting has nothing to do with perfection. Perfection isn’t even the goal, not for us, not for our children. Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting.”

 L.R. Knost
Photo by Elly Fairytale

I believe the first step to enjoying parenthood, not just surviving it, starts with love.

Now I’d like to ask you a question:

Do YOU like your kids?

Of course you love them, that is not in question. But are you excited to come home from a long day of work or other activity and spend time with your kids? Do you look forward on a regular basis to being able to interact with your kids? Do you wake up each morning and jump into action the moment your kids beckon, or do you groan and want to curl into the fetal position and hide?

Don’t feel guilty if you are realizing you aren’t really liking your kids right now. I am no expert on parenting, I am in the midst of it just like you. But I have come to realize, when I have felt this way about my kids, these negative feelings directly impact the way I show love to my children. I don’t show as much tenderness, I am quick to anger, and frankly- I just don’t show as much love. The interesting thing is I don’t believe these feelings come from our children or their actions. We feel this way because we are too busy juggling everything else in our life and are overwhelmed with life itself. I talk about this more and the importance of caring for ourselves in depth in my posts, Aware in All Things and Never Inadequate.

Perhaps you are thinking, I love hanging out with my kids! I don’t know what she is talking about! Or maybe you are thinking, “I despise my kids, she is being way too nice on the description of these little monsters!” We all have our own unique circumstances and it doesn’t matter where we are in our own personal journey through parenthood. What we all can agree on is that it is hard! Parenthood is one of the most difficult tasks we have taken on in this life and has the biggest consequences if we fail. The stakes are high!

I know that if we turn to our Heavenly Father, He will guide us in knowing how to raise these precious little spirits we are blessed with (Prepare or Protect? Raising Spiritually Resilient Children). He will help us know how to show love, when we feel like we have nothing else to give. During those desperate moments when we feel like we have lost control and our emotions are rampaging, turn to our Heavenly Father. Seek his guidance. He knows we have the strength and the ability to meet the needs of our children. He knows we have the capacity to provide the love needed to sustain them. When we are unsure of how we can accomplish this, He will show the way.

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Aware in All Things

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Last summer I was able to take a quick trip to Target without kids. I was giddy to get a little shopping in without little ones… you know, doing what little ones do! While driving through the parking lot I noticed an elderly man sitting in the back seat of an old beat up sedan. He kept looking over his shoulder to the entrance of Target. I don’t know why he caught my attention, maybe it was the urgency he seemed to exude as he glanced over his should. For some reason I felt like I needed to take a closer look (usually I am not a stalker!) I made a loop around the lot and ended up finding a spot, a couple of cars away, where I could still see him. Again, he looked over his shoulder at the doors to the store, as if he were anxiously waiting for someone to return. I pulled the keys from the ignition and rummaged through my purse, plopping my phone into it. I glanced at the man again and it became clear he seemed distressed.

I got out of the car feeling awkward. Did this man need help? He was a grown man, surely there was nothing I could do for him. I started to walk down the isle of the parking lot towards the store which led me closer to the man, who didn’t notice I was there.

Once closer with a better view it dawned on me, this man was locked in the car in 95 degree weather! He was an extremely frail looking man, sweat dripped down his forehead and he kept swiping it away. His t-shirt was drenched in sweat as well. I could tell there wasn’t a dry spot on it. It was obvious this man had been locked in the car for a long time.

I walked over to the car not surprised to see the windows were all rolled up. “Do you need help?” I asked the man bending down so he could see me through the window. His face was frantic and he nodded with a weak, “yes”. Without hesitating I pulled the phone from my purse and dialed 911.

Within minutes a police officer arrived and was able to unlock one of the car doors with a special tool, freeing the man. My heart dropped when he stepped from the car, not only was his t-shirt soaked, but the thick jeans he wore were drenched as well. The EMT’s swooped in to care for the man, while the police got a statement from me.

Later, as I pushed my cart through Target, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that I hadn’t had my usual distractions (aka, my rambunctious pack of kids). Would I have noticed the man in the car? I would like to say I would have, but I’m really not sure. It was a busy day at the store, with a full parking lot. How many people had walked by him without noticing? We are all very aware of children left in cars, but who would pay attention to a grown adult?

I tell you this story, because since that time I have realized that in recent years I’ve become less observant to those around me. It was a slow progression that I hadn’t even realized had taken place.

This slow progression reminds me of what it is like when wearing old glasses. I just got a new pair of glasses for the first time in five years (yes, I should take better care of my eyes!) My old glasses were worn, looked ridiculous, and were not even close to the prescription I needed anymore. I’d grown accustomed to the lack of detail. I didn’t think about what I was missing. Once I put on the new pair of lenses, I was in awe at all the extra detail I could see. It wasn’t anything new. I’d seen it all before and yet, I had easily stopped caring what I was missing out on. I think we all get a little lazy on our view of life. We all can get too preoccupied to notice what is right in front of us.

I will be the first to admit that I live in a state of preoccupied… all the time. I am an extremely task oriented person. I usually have a checklist outlined somewhere in my house to help me focus on what needs to be done. When it comes to running a household, I like order. I spend my days being mom: carpooling to school, helping with homework, chauffeuring kids to activities, reading stories, putting kids down for nap time, the usual stuff. Being a mom consumes me. There isn’t anything wrong with this, but I have a tendency to forget to look up and enjoy the beauty around me. I live in my own little snow globe world and it takes effort to look beyond the fictitious glass, to what is on the outside. Frankly, the thought of even trying to do this can exhaust me.

In all the busyness, I can forget to breathe, look up, and take it all in. I forget to take care of myself. At one point, I’d even gotten to a place where showering felt like a chore! Showering was just another thing I had to rush through to check off my list, and lets be honest… most days I never even got around to it (and I have to admit that I still don’t always get around to it)!

Awhile back, I was driving on the freeway and I glanced up and noticed the mountains. It might seem cliche to say that my breath was taken away, but that’s how I felt. I’ve lived in Utah my whole life and the mountains easily tend to blend into the background of a preoccupied mind. I realized then that I go through life with my head down, more metaphorically than literally. For weeks after that, I made an effort to look up and take in the beauty around me. The peace those few moments brought each day, made the burdens I had at the time lighter. Taking a simple moment transformed me. It transformed my perspective on life.

No matter our circumstances, burdens seem easier to bear when we take that much needed breath, step back, and enjoy the extra little details around us that we tend to gloss over. Try to start looking through new lenses, to see what you are missing. Even if it is just a moment to lift your head and notice the small miracles around you. Soak in the little details and enjoy them!

Now lets get cheesy. There is something therapeutic about noticing the tiny details of nature, it’s like medicine for the soul!

An ant carrying a crumb across the sidewalk.

A bird working hard at it’s nest.

The early buds of leaves starting to sprout on the branches of trees that weren’t there the day before.

The bite of a cool breeze brushing through our hair and across our skin.

The smell of rain on the pavement.

I’d venture to guess these are all things we enjoy, but how often do we really notice them? How often do we let ourselves enjoy a moment where we do nothing but sit and take it all in? How often do we enjoy God’s creations? Most of us live in a whirlwind of absolute busyness. It is rare for us to allow ourselves time to really meet our own needs because we are hurriedly trying to meet everyone else’s needs instead.

Image by Jacques GAIMARD from Pixabay

It’s okay to take care of yourself first

At times there seems to be a stigma about caring for ourselves before others. I’ve been in several conversations where someone is going through a difficult trial in their life, or suffering from depression, and a well meaning individual starts talking about service. Yes, forgetting about ourselves in the service of others is an amazing thing! It really can help pull us through when we need it the most. But, it is impossible to give ourselves to others if we are merely an empty shell.

I work at a children’s hospital and often have parents, who are extremely worried to leave their child’s bedside. Many of them haven’t showered for days, forgotten to eat several meals, and are severely lacking in sleep. Some are barely functioning after a couple of days of frantic worry. Whenever I see this, I sit down with the parents and discuss with them the need to care not only for the child, but for themselves as well. We talk about how they can care for their child so much more, if they are meeting their own needs. It is amazing the difference I often see after they take a quick shower, or go for a little walk by themselves.

“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”

Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

Self care is not a selfish act. Meeting our own needs makes us more equipped to take on our daily tasks. Life is busy, especially as a parent. We run ourselves ragged! Never underestimate the importance of taking a little breather for ourselves, no matter how small it may be. How can we possibly be fully aware of the needs of others if we are constantly ignoring, or aren’t even aware, of what our own needs are?

It would be fantastic if we could all check out on our responsibilities once a week and have a designated self care day. That is unbelievably laughable, right? No one has time for that! So the majority of self care we get comes in little moments throughout the day. A moment we pause, step back, and cleanse our minds of any useless internal dialogue, and just breath. Sometimes this requires briefly walking away from children or other busy environments. When we are at our whits end, overwhelmed, depressed, or frustrated, this is a useful tool to have in our survival belt.

So remember to stop and take care of yourself! Even if it means taking that tiny break I mentioned earlier by simply looking up and out of your own little snow globe of a world you live in. Take a breath. Enjoy the good. Not just in nature, but in all aspects of your life. Maybe it’s the way your kids are actually playing together and it’s adorable. Maybe it’s the way your spouse left you the last piece of your favorite dessert. Maybe it’s the way your eighty year old neighbors still hold hands when they take their daily walks. Maybe it’s by adding just an extra minute or two to the shower you usually rush through.

With social distancing we have been given a rare opportunity to stop, take that breath, and become more aware. Our usual routines are disrupted, making it a great time for self evaluation and starting new habits. It’s time to take a look at those details we so easily overlook. COVID-19 has impacted every individual differently. Some of us have found ourselves stuck in our homes with more time on our hands than we have ever wanted. Others, such as healthcare workers, or mom’s with school age children, may be busier than ever. Either way, learning to look beyond our distractions at our own current needs is a valuable skill.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Being aware helps us care for others

We have all had phases in our life, where we have more time on our hands to reach out to people. There are also times we might be on the verge of tears when we are asked to add one more thing to our plate. I’ve been there. I’ve felt completely overwhelmed by the mere thought of doing some big gesture to help someone else out. There are times I’ve been hanging on by a thread and I couldn’t think beyond the needs of my own family. It is okay to feel this way! We have all been there!

The interesting fact is when we do what I am suggesting, and take that small breather, we tend to notice those around us more. This puts us in a situation where we can reach out and help someone in need! Much like the elderly man trapped in the car. What if I hadn’t looked up and been more aware of my surroundings? What if I had my “task oriented brain” turned on and was only tuned into what I needed to buy and finding a closer parking spot?

It is an amazing thing, when we take a moment to look up. We notice little ways we can help others. It doesn’t always take some grand gesture of service. When we take a moment to be more aware of our surroundings we notice great opportunities to lend a helping hand. Like a cute old lady at the grocery store trying to reach a jar on the top shelf but coming up empty handed. The mere seconds it takes to step in and help her out can put a smile on her face, and ours for the rest of the day. This type of service may seem simple and take very little of our time, and yet it can be just as impactful to the person we are helping with any grand service project.

“Kindness and awareness work together. Through awareness we understand the underlying beauty of everything and every being.”

Amit Ray, Nonviolence: The Transforming Power

I urge all of us to look up and practice awareness. The more we do this the more we will come to realize how awareness and service go hand in hand. It is great that awareness has a two fold consequence! The first one is for our own personal benefit; when we are aware (take that breath and step back) our spirits soar, it rejuvenates us and brings us peace. The second consequence is it provides opportunities to serve, blessing so many other lives beyond our own.

Be aware of all things

I bear my personal witness that the Father is at this moment aware of you, your feelings, and the spiritual and temporal needs of everyone around you.

Henry B. Eyring, His Spirit to Be with You, April 2018

Our own Heavenly Father is aware of us and our needs. He is aware! Isn’t it about time we start pondering what our own needs are according to his will? If He is aware of my needs, I want to be more aware of them as well. I want to be ready when he calls upon me as a tool to meet the needs of another. I want to be aware of those around me and their needs. This can only be done through being aware and tuned into the Holy Spirit, and by being aware of those around us.

It would be amazing to put on the lenses of God and see the world how he sees it. To see his children the way he sees them. To see our family, neighbors, friends, and even strangers as He sees them. What a marvelous perspective to strive for! To see ourselves as He sees us. If we could share this view I can only imagine the infinite love that would fill our souls.

So take time to breath, and look up. Take time to listen to the Spirit’s promptings. We will be guided on how to meet our own needs as well as others. As we take these moments throughout the day and pause, we will be guided and blessed by the spirit. We will find peace and feel rejuvenated to take on any responsibility, no matter how daunting it may be. When we do this, we will likely find someone who is in need of our help, and find joy in serving.

It is time to practice being aware, just as our Heavenly Father is aware of all things.

What does being aware, just like our Heavenly Father is aware, mean to you? Please comment below on your insights!

Never Inadequate

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I vividly remember sitting in the women’s general conference, for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, in October five years ago. I sat on the church bench with my three month old baby sleeping happily in the car seat next to me. I honestly don’t remember the talks from the broadcast but I do remember watching Sister Linda K. Burton, who was the Relief Society General President at the time. I felt inspired by her message and remember thinking, “Wow, what an amazing woman. What kind of life must she have led to be standing where she is now.” At that instant a jolt hit me with force, like lightning crackling from my head down through my body. I was stunned. I had never felt anything like it before. I have felt promptings from the Holy Ghost and received personal revelation, but I had never experienced such a strong physical… push. More profoundly, however, were the feelings that accompanied it.

Now I want to be clear- this was by no means saying I was destined for the same path as Sister Burton. To me the message was direct, Heavenly Father loves me and has a plan for me. I knew I needed to start taking the actions needed to reach my full potential. I knew I was a long way off from where I needed to be, and where I wanted to be.

I drove home inspired, I made a plan to start reaching goals that would help me get on the path I wanted.

Did I mention this was five years ago?

Yeah, I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t follow through with most of my plan. I still feel like I am lacking and far from the steps that prompting encouraged me to take. I’ve been discouraged and mad at myself for not trying harder. I’ve had two more babies since that time and life got busy. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. In part, it was true. I never have a moment alone and those steps I needed to take were time consuming. When I became honest with myself though, there was one main thing holding me back.

Inadequacy.

Starting this blog was one thing I knew needed to happen. Over the years the prompting has gotten stronger until I no longer could ignore it.

I was terrified.

What do I have to say that anyone would even care about? What if no one likes it? What if I offend people? What if no one reads it? What if my writing isn’t good enough? I’m not as spiritual as I’d like to be right now. How can I help others if I’m not even where I should be? I’m no one special, I can’t make a difference.

Self doubt flooded over me.

“Be careful not to mistake insecurity and inadequacy for humility! Humility has nothing to do with the insecure and inadequate! Just like arrogance has nothing to do with greatness!”

C. JoyBell C.

Inadequacy Does Not Equal Failure

Inadequate. This is a feeling we have all felt at one point or another. It’s negative connotation speaks volumes when someone says it towards another person. When we say it to ourselves, our self worth drops significantly.

The feelings that come with fearing we are inadequate tear us apart and ultimately can make us lose hope. We feel like we have failed.

Feelings of inadequacy often come from constantly coming up short in many areas of our life. We play countless roles through life, these roles are ever changing. I’ve made a quick list of all the roles I currently play in the life of me:

I am a-

  • Wife
  • Mother
  • Homemaker
  • Daughter and daughter-in-law
  • Sister and sister-in-law
  • Aunt
  • Cousin
  • Niece
  • Friend
  • Neighbor
  • Nurse
  • Employee
  • Coworker
  • Ministering Sister
  • And I serve in different callings in my church

Some of these roles, I feel like I do okay in. Others stress me out and there are several I know I am failing at miserably. Feeling overwhelmed and spread thin is a common feeling we all have. This leaves us feeling inadequate and quite frankly exhausted. “If I only had more time during the day,” is a common thought I have, “then I could have done everything I needed to do”. But we don’t have more time, and the things we wanted to accomplish can pile up. This can make us feel like we have a big fat “FAILURE” tattooed on us for all to see. This only worsens when we start comparing ourselves to what appears to be the picture perfect people around us. “Those” people seem to have it all together, “they” have it all figured out.

In what aspects of your life are you feeling inadequate? To organize your thoughts it might help to make a list of all the roles you play like my list above. Look at the areas you are strong in, you aren’t failing! What areas do you need to improve? What areas terrify you to even start trying? If you feel like you are not strong in any of them that’s okay. Failure should never be defined by our regrets, it is what we choose do with those regrets that defines it. So do we choose to push on, to keep trying? Or do we wallow and hide?

The reality is we can’t do it all at once. There are so many roles we play in life, that we can’t possibly excel in all of them at any one given moment. So stop trying to be perfect at everything all the time! We are going to make mistakes and mess up, no matter how much we think we have improved. We will never be perfect. Instead, we must learn to accept imperfection, or we will never learn from our mistakes. It is okay to place things on the back burner, while we take the time to focus on another area. Prioritize what areas you need to focus on. When one area is strengthened and new habits have formed, you will be able to focus on another area.

What things didn’t make your list that you want for yourself in the future? It is okay to dream big, to want more. What do you need to do to make it happen? What negative words of self doubt do you need to cast off?

One thing that must be said, is there will be situations that arise where we feel like we aren’t enough, like we don’t have what it takes. These situations occur outside of the designated roles we see ourselves in. I’ve heard many people lately saying they feel inadequate because of the situation COVID-19 has put them in. They don’t feel equipped to home school their kids, they feel inadequate to provide for their family, and other various strains. It is okay to grieve, it is okay to be afraid, these reactions are part of humanity, and they have a purpose. Acknowledge them, mourn… but don’t let it consume you. For more on this see Letting Ourselves Grieve.

“You cannot be escorted by the belief of inadequacy and get to the destination of excellence. Go along with “a can do spirit” because that is the only companion!”

Israelmore Ayivor, The Great Hand Book of Quotes

There is a term I learned, in my psychology class in high school, and I became familiar with it again in nursing school. It is called “self fulfilling prophecy”. According to this, our actions are influenced by a belief or prediction we have. Because our actions were influenced by our thoughts, the prediction actually came true. In other words, if we tell ourselves we are inadequate and can’t do something, then our actions reflect this and it becomes true. Luckily we can use this for the positive as well! If we learn to change our mindset and tell ourselves, “I can do this!”, we are more inclined to put it into action and voila! We learn that we really can!

Reaching Our Full Potential

How many of us have had a Disney’s the Lion King moment, “Simba, you are more than what you have become!”

Often times these urges to be better than we are, come from an innate desire to improve ourselves. It doesn’t always take divine promptings that urge us to do better, to be better, to reach a goal that always seemed too scary to even try. We all have dreams and aspirations, but self doubt tricks us into thinking we are inadequate. These urges are a call to action, to stop thinking and start acting.

It can be terrifying to ignore the feelings of inadequacy, but if we do, life will be more fulfilling and purposeful. Changing our mindset from the negative to the positive takes practice, but it is possible.

We all have greatness within us. Heavenly Father has a plan for everyone. So I ask you, what do you need to do to reach your full potential?

“Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.”

Joshua 1:9, The Old Testament

Don’t give up. If you feel like you have hit a wall, get creative and try taking a detour that can get you to where you need. When self doubt and inadequacies threaten to take you down, hold your head high and remember that you are a child of God. If our own Heavenly Father knows we are special and sees the fullness of our potential, shouldn’t we start believing in ourselves? Believing we can be more? When we feel ill equipped to add more to our plates and that we are barely hanging on, believe in yourself. You are never alone and our Savoir is urging you onward.

Image by Vicki Nunn from Pixabay

We are worth His love, and our life is precious. We are never past hope and we are always capable of change. Reaching our full potential is a life long journey. We won’t get there tomorrow or even next week. Enjoy the ride and be brave. Believe in yourself!

Remember you are enough!

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When Foundations Fail

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Natural disasters are not subtle. They come sweeping in with an unpredictable fury leaving destruction, devastation, and chaos. That’s what I had always believed. Earthquakes, tidal waves, hurricanes, tornadoes and other natural disasters have always had widespread coverage in the news. I was familiar with these stories so when the hairline cracks appeared in the foundation of my childhood home during the spring when I turned sixteen, I wasn’t worried.

The street I lived on, which bordered a hill had slight changes to it’s original positioning and several of our neighbors had been noticing minor cracks in their foundations and shifting on their land. “The land is probably just settling,” was a phrase I heard several times. Specialists, like the state project geologist came out and surveyed the land. They measured the cracks with special equipment and looked at the five homes on our street who were effected. At first they didn’t say much, so I assumed everything would be fine. 

I was wrong.

Those hair line cracks in the foundation, as subtle and inconspicuous as they appeared to be, started to separate at a rapid rate by late summer. One home after another was being condemned. The experts continued to monitor the land, but they couldn’t figure out what was causing the ground underneath us to shift. When our house was condemned, we were given 24 hours to evacuate.

About a week after we moved, a 10 foot drop separated the front of our foundation from the back of the foundation. The only home I had ever known was gone. 

Here is my 15 minutes of fame! Front page of the newspaper sporting my pretty awesome overalls and carrying our cat, Mitzi out the back door of our home.

Almost two decades later and I can still remember packing up my house in a fit of adrenaline during the day. Into the silent night hours I worked with my parents. Boxes upon boxes left our house of things that you accumulate over a lifetime. We didn’t have much time to sort and since we had no where to go, most things got packed away and sent to a storage shed.

That was the first time I had ever stayed awake for two days straight, but I didn’t even feel tired. It was surreal. I packed fervently which kept my mind busy. I didn’t have time to think or let the emotions of what was happening impact me. The house creaked and groaned around us, as it was literally being ripped apart. I still remember the sound of my dad cutting the bolts that secured the back of the house to the foundation, to give us more time. 

We were going to loose everything. The insurance company claimed the landslide to be, “an act of God” and said it wasn’t covered.

I emptied drawers.

I boxed up closets. 

I cleaned out cabinets. 

I hugged neighbors and childhood friends goodbye. 

I packed up my bedroom. 

I carried Mitzi from our home and hid her in the hotel we lived in for two weeks (what else could we do with a cat who also lost her home?)

I signed my name to a baseboard in my bedroom. 

And I said goodbye to my home.

Our house was small and modest with a little carport and three big windows in the front that looked into my bedroom. From the outside it probably didn’t seem like much, but it wasn’t just a house. It was my home, a place where I could climb into my favorite tree for sanctuary in my backyard. A place that had the best Little Mermaid rock in the world. It had the bedroom I had shared with my sister where we played Malarky and Hu-watch-ee-foo, and did Christmas concerts with our stuffed animals. Sure, we had gotten older and I finally had the room to myself when my sister left for college. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was all I knew and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

But I had to.  

The back wall of the foundation completely dropped and the front of the foundation stayed in place. See the top of the door opening in the back wall? That’s the door I was walking out of where the newspaper picture was taken.

Disasters in life

Everyone in life has disasters. Some are obvious and come rampaging in and the devastation that happens is very apparent to an outsiders point of view. I had always thought of a landslide this way, where tons of rocks, mud, and water come rushing down a hill crushing and engulfing anything in it’s path. This I learned isn’t always the case. Disasters can also be subtle, but just as devastating. I’m sure we can all relate to the current situation of a worldwide pandemic. This trial started with news stories of a virus in far away countries that ended up creeping it’s way to our very own doorstep.

At sixteen years old, my life had been turned upside down. I started my junior year of high school living in a hotel. The American Red Cross paid for the hotel to help my parents get on their feet and until we found an apartment to rent. 

My parents took this time to evaluate more than just our living situation. After two weeks of living in the hotel they found an apartment, and soon after they told my sister and I they were going to get a divorce. This is when all the emotions I had held at bay swept in. Was it a surprise they wanted a divorce? Absolutely not. My parent’s rocky relationship was a known fact, it was more a matter of when things would end rather than if. Even though I knew it would eventually happen, it didn’t change the finality of it.

The only world I had ever known was literally crumbling in front of me. My home was gone, and my dad wouldn’t be living with us. It was all gone. Any illusion of my former life had been uprooted and destroyed. 

Whether the disasters we face come rampaging in or come at us slowly and unassuming, how do we survive these events without crumbling?

Building Our Foundation

For several years after the landslide one question kept resurfacing in my mind:

How had our families foundation been as faulty as the foundation we built our home on? I’m talking about the personal stuff that went on within the walls of my childhood home.

So I ask you now: how is your foundation? How is the foundation of your family? Is it where you want it to be?

What if I told you that there was a different house on our very same lot that had been deemed unstable and was moved away before my parents built our house? As crazy as that sounds, it is true! The foundation of the old home was ripped from the ground and the land put up for auction. My parents were reassured that as long as they built the house further up on the lot and closer to the road they would not have a problem.

I’ve noticed far too often the heart breaking scene of people shaping their lives with faulty foundations. Foundations that have already been proven that they cannot hold and will collapse. People lost and suffering due to drug addiction, pornography, and other such things are all around us. We all have known someone in these circumstances, whether it be a friend or a loved one. Or perhaps it is you that finds yourself in a place in which you feel lost and desperate. These devices are tools Satan uses to weaken our foundations. Feeling hopeless is exactly what the adversary wants, but it’s a lie.

It is never too late to start strengthening our foundations. It doesn’t matter if you are in a good place now, or in the depths of despair. We only need to start with a prayer. It’s that simple.

Christ loves us and he will come swiftly to our aid and fill any cracks that threaten our foundation.

What hairline cracks are compromising your foundation? Your families foundation? You might notice small ones that have a simple fix. Others might be overwhelming to try to take on any sort of solution right now. But I urge you to start patching one crack at a time, focus on what you can do. The reality is that we can’t do it alone, and that is okay! With faith, our Savoir can patch any foundation that is lacking.

I urge us all to find those hairline cracks in our foundations. They can be so unassuming, barely worth a second thought. The reality, however, is they could end up tearing us apart. Satan knows our weaknesses, he sees where our foundation is failing. We need to prepare for the day when he intends to exploit those weaknesses. With a firm foundation, we cannot fall!

The storms and whirlwinds that plague us may come from choices we have made or from outside forces that are not in our control. In the end though, it doesn’t matter because the answer is the same. Christ.

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

Matthew 7:25

All those years ago I decided not to crumble. I decided to hold my head up and overcome. I had faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. At times I barely felt like I was surviving, while other times I found peace and eventually joy! It is possible to find happiness, no matter how hard the rain is beating us down or what disaster we may face. You may not find it immediately, but don’t give up. This does not mean ignoring your sorrow and pain, (see Letting Ourselves Grieve) but finding hope and the Saviors light in the dark is always possible. He can ease our burdens and lighten the unbearable load we carry… if we let him. We must choose to focus on Christ and not the storm raging around us. When it seems as though our foundation is slipping out beneath us, turn to Christ. He will lift us when we need it the most.

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