lds quotes

Mistakes and Regrets, a Story of a Camping trip and the Unfortunate Incident with a Chili Bomb

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Back in 2014, my super awesome husband decided to take our 6-year-old daughter camping. It was late summer and I had just had a baby. I will be completely honest in saying that I was ecstatic to have some quiet at home with the newborn, while he took our only other child on a fun overnight adventure.

After setting up camp and some play time, my husband and daughter like any good campers, started to roast some hot dogs. My husband likes chili dogs and decided it was a good idea to throw a can of chili over the fire to heat up… without venting it.

Yes, he did not open the can at all. Now why is this a bad idea???

I’m sure all of you really smart people realize that those molecules in the can were moving around like crazy as it heated up and the pressure would turn that little can into a horrific chili bomb.

With that being said, let me finish the story, if you haven’t already guessed the outcome.

So my husband, once he decided the can had enough time to heat up, carried it over to the pavilion covered picnic table. He picked up the can opener and the instant it’s blade clicked through the metal of the can- BOOM!

Chili was EVERYWHERE. Piping hot chili dripped from the underside of the pavilion, not one spot came out unscathed. The sound of the explosion was terrifying. It echoed through the campground with a deafening roar, probably scaring all the campers! Our six year old daughter came running from the tent in panic, “What was that?!”

A miracle took place in our family that day. The scalding chili was everywhere, and yet my husband did not have one burn on his body. If he had been leaning over the can as he opened it, he would have ended up in the hospital with horrible burns. Angels must have been watching over him because even his hands were were unharmed.

Now, why do I tell you this story?

Because even really smart people do really dumb things.

My husband is a smart man. No really, his IQ score- pretty impressive! Did that keep him from not thinking something through all the way and making this mistake? Nope! If he would have paused to think about what he was about to do, he would have realized the incredible stupidity of it.

We are human, we will make mistakes

Humans are imperfect beings and no matter how hard we try, we will fall short. Not always, but sometimes it is inevitable. Mistakes will happen. Especially when peer pressure, hormones, or lack of sleep get involved. I could go on listing our shortcomings of pride and other emotions that can consume us. Satan’s temptations can make everything so sparkly and appealing to our mortal eyes. Obviously, there are many things that come into play. We are going to make mistakes, no matter how hard we try, it’s going to happen.

So take a breath, step back, and realize that this is an expected outcome of coming to this earth. It is all going to be okay! Don’t be so hard on yourself when you make a mistake or do something stupid. It is all part of the journey (an unpleasant part for sure! But still a part of it).

Overcoming our shortcomings

Having a firm foundation is similar to having the Armor of God in place. When you build one, you are building the other (see When Foundations Fail). These will assist you in not making bad choices and prevent you from giving into Satan’s temptations and the inevitable heartache that accompanies those choices. My chili story is just a silly example of human stupidity… but their will be choices in this life that can be detrimental to our long term happiness and spiritual growth.

Even with the armor of God in place, will you be perfect? No- but through repentance and turning to the Savior we can blot out those mistakes and move forward.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Come and Belong

People always talk about learning from mistakes. This is a vital step of self improvement. Picking ourselves up when we haven fallen, no matter how hard, will plant our feet on our path toward eternal perfection. As long as we are progressing, that’s what matters. Once we stop striving for perfection and decide to focus on simply improving, that is when we will feel fulfilled and like we are on the correct path. It doesn’t matter how painstakingly slow each of those steps are, as long as they are moving forward.

Letting go of the past

Regret.

Regret is such a loaded word. As I contemplate it, I can feel past burdens weighing heavy on my shoulders. It’s easy to replay our mistakes and failures on a constant loop in our minds eye.

“Why did I do that?”

“Why didn’t I do that?”

“What are they going to think?”

“I’m so stupid!”

“I’m a failure.”

“I’m not worth saving.”

Our internal dialogue can be harsh! The truth is, the majority of the time these thoughts are not true at all. A couple of years ago I took one of my daughters to see a counselor who talked about these negative thoughts. He challenged her to prove these thoughts wrong whenever they popped into her head. He said that these thoughts are actually lies and although they feel like truth, they can actually be very easy to disprove. For example, if a person had the thought, “I’m so stupid,” how can they disprove it? Maybe they are a great student and actually get fantastic grades most of the time, or maybe they are a music whiz.

I loved this technique to challenge ones own thoughts. It helped my daughter stop that negative loop and focus on something more positive about herself.

When our past failures are on repeat in our brain, especially when we have repented, we are keeping ourselves stagnant and unable to progress forward. Our self worth takes a direct hit! (See Never inadequate). Our If our Savior and Heavenly Father can forgive us, shouldn’t we be able to forgive ourselves?

All of us make mistakes, and some of us very serious ones. Any thoughtful person feels a kind of failure because of his sins or moral failures… no matter what we’ve done in life, no matter what we do, God and Christ still love us just as much as they did before we failed. God and Christ do not separate themselves from the sinner, from the wrongdoer.

Lowell L. Bennion, Overcoming Our Mistakes
Russell M. Nelson, Perfection Pending

This is one of my favorite quotes. Joy, not guilt trips! Letting go of our mistakes opens our hearts and minds to happiness.

I am grateful for the Atonement and all it entails. How amazing that we can be forgiven of our sins and that our burdens can be lifted If we turn to the Savior!

Oh, and for the record, I apologize profusely for the smell and the unimaginable amount of bugs that pavilion attracted the weeks following the chili bomb incident. My husband tried to clean it, but their was only so much he could do with a limited water supply. In case you were wondering, my husband fully endorses this post and the sharing of his story. And for the record, he is a very smart man, which made this incident all the more funny.

In the end, I just want to say that the moral of the story is: even smart people do dumb things! So brush it off, pray lots, and build those stepping stones towards your bright future!

Russell M. Nelson, Perfection Pending

All are Alike Unto God

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We are all equal in the eyes of God!

During these crazy times I hope we all remember to love one another. For change to occur, it needs to start with love, understanding, and acceptance in all of our hearts. Lets start seeing others through God’s eyes.

Prepare or Protect? Raising Spiritually Resilient Children

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I have no clue what to do the majority of the time as a parent. Seriously, I feel completely inadequate. My overall goal is to raise my children to faithful, happy, functioning, contributing adults. I pray every day, that they might turn out to be good people, with a testimony of our Savoir. The world, however, seems to have other plans.

When our kids are little it is pretty easy to protect them from the harsh reality of the world. As they grow older it is nearly impossible. While raising my kids, I’ve always wanted to protect my children’s innocence as long as possible. Let them be kids while they can be kids! But as my oldest entered the tween years, it became clear that this was a very gray area and not as black and white as I first had assumed. I realized the more I protected her, the less prepared she would be for reality. If I didn’t speak up and teach her, then she would hear things from other kids, that I’d rather her hear from me.

I started asking myself, is it right to continue protecting her when she is obviously ready to start growing up? I wanted her to keep her childhood innocence- which was more of a selfish act for me, and not in her best interest.

Physically and emotionally protecting our children

From the moment these precious children enter our lives, our parenting instincts take over, much like a mother bear protecting her cubs. Protecting them is ingrained in us, and yet often times our over protection can be detrimental.

“We think we need to protect our children. And the answer to that is yes, of course, from starvation and moving cars and juggling chainsaws. There are things that are legitimately dangerous. But we are not there to protect them from any discomfort or any pain or any sadness. What we need to do is not protect but prepare.”

Steve Baskin, A Manifesto to Strength: Raising Anti-Fragile Kids

Experts agree that for children to grow into resilient adults, we must allow them to experience life. Pain, sadness, and failure are all vital experiences, because they teach endurance, hard work, and self motivation. As parents, we know these things and yet we are naturally prone to feeling the need to take away our children’s suffering.

Image by Myriam Zilles from Pixabay

“One of the things I began to see early on was over-parenting, first the helicopter parenting and then the snowplow or lawnmower parenting. One is watching your child’s emotion and then trying to manage your child’s experience and prepare the road for your child, instead of your child for the road…”

Steve Baskin, A Manifesto to Strength: Raising Anti-Fragile Kids

I love this visual of a snow blower parent! Have you ever caught yourself doing it? What a sad thing to realize that by preparing the road for our child, we are actually causing more harm! If we are constantly clearing any hardship that confronts our children, they do not gain the resilient qualities needed to overcome these moments. When they leave our home and enter the word without us there, there is a good chance they could crumble.

“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.”

Ann Landers

Spiritually protecting versus preparing

Now I would like to take what we know about preparing our children for life and relate it to preparing them spiritually. The number one way to PREPARE our children spiritually is obviously to give them exposure to the gospel! Teaching them to pray, going to church, reading the scriptures, and doing “Come Follow Me” in our homes… we know these are some of the basics to building a firm foundation (see When Foundations Fail).

Now, lets look at the PROTECT side of this. What are we doing that can hinder their spiritual growth? Are there things we want to protect and shelter our children from that could actually be keeping them from spiritual preparation?

When we let our children experience sadness, pain, and make mistakes, we know they will be more resilient as adults. The amazing thing is these same experiences also give opportunities to learn about faith and grow a testimony! When they have fear and sorrow, teach them to pray. When they fail or are in pain, teach them to search the scriptures for answers. These are vital experiences that will help our children find faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Some may ask, whats wrong with plowing the path to the tree of life for our children? Why can’t I mow a smooth course all the way there? In my mind this does paint a pretty picture, but in reality this is impossible. Even Lehi himself couldn’t do it! He stood at the tree of life, beckoning his children, he could not hold their hands along the way.

Are we raising our children to recognize the great and spacious building? Are they aware of the mist of darkness or strange and flattering roads that may lead them away? Sometimes we want to shield our children from seeing these things in the word, but if we don’t discuss them safely at home while they are growing up, how easy will it be for Satan to trick them when they are older?

Will our children’s testimony’s be ready when they leave our homes and experience the real world? When temptation strikes and we are no longer there to guide and direct, will our children falter and their faith plummet from the shock of what they are seeing?

“Today we are at war with Satan. We, like any army, need to know what the enemy is up to. Knowing when and where the enemy will attack, for instance, can be invaluable information. That’s why the term for acquiring such information is called “gathering intelligence.” To know our enemy is to become smarter than our enemy. The Book of Mormon can help us “gather intelligence” on Satan’s counterfeit methods.”

Dennis C. Gaunt, Recognizing Satan’s Counterfeits

How do we know what needs to be shared with our children?

As we faithfully pray and read the Book of Mormon, we will be led and guided to know how to prepare our children spiritually. I’ve experienced uncertainty multiple times, wondering how to teach my daughter about the world and Satan’s tactics. Each time I pray for help, an opportunity always arises that allows me to teach these tough subjects.

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we can be referred to as a “peculiar people”. We don’t drink coffee, we stay away from harshly rated movies and other content that is deemed inappropriate. We abstain from sexual conduct until we are married. We even wear “weird underwear”. As we pray for guidance we will be able to teach our children that these things aren’t the norm world wide.

We don’t need to plop our children on Satan’s lap to give them exposure to his influences. They don’t need a first hand tour of everything worldly! They do, however, need to be aware of what is out there.

This puts us in a difficult situation over and over again while raising our children as we contemplate what information to share. Some things we choose to teach are age based, we wait until they are developmentally old enough to understand. No matter when we teach, what we decide to share is something between you and the Lord. Always seek His guidance. When we do this, we will be able to discern what actions to take, what to share, and when to share them.

Image by Jenny Friedrichs from Pixabay

Raising faithful children with a testimony in the gospel should never be confused with raising our children to be naive. President Lee, while speaking to the youth of the church, once said:

“We don’t pray that you may be withdrawn into a ‘Shangri-La’ away from the evils of the world, because you are to be a leaven wherever you are, to bring about righteousness, but we are pleading with the Lord with all our might that while you are in the world, you may be kept from evil.”

Harold B. Lee, Decisions for Successful Living [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1973], p. 223

If you aren’t familiar with Shangri-La, it’s a fictional place in the 1933 novel, Lost Horizon. It is a place of paradise , isolated from the world. We can’t send our children to Shangri-La to enjoy an innocent joyous life. They are meant to be here, “to bring about righteousness” where ever they may be in this world. It is our job, to prepare them for this.

Hiding the different lifestyles and views of the world doesn’t protect our children. Talking about how other people live and what they believe can actually give opportunity to discuss the diversity of God’s children and His love for all of them!

It is possible to teach our children that “we are in the world but not of the world”, and by doing so they will become spiritually resilient.

We are blessed with a brief period in which to prepare our children for the obstacles ahead. Hold their hands while they are young. Teach them. Let them experience sorrow. Let them understand what the world is like. Give them opportunities to act in faith. Then when they are grown, there is more than a good chance they will become faithful, happy, functioning, contributing adults. Adults with an unwavering testimony, strong enough to withstand any storm.

We can’t plow the path for our children, but we can prepare them so they can have a firm grip planted on the iron rod, with clear vision of the road ahead and possible obstacles that await them.

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Inspiring Others Through Our Own Imperfections

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Lets be imperfect together💪 People relate to real, they relate to honest imperfections. Inspire by just being you, not pretending to be more 🌹🥀

Some of my favorite talks in church are when people relate raw honest life. With four kids it can be hard to pay attention to sacrament talks. But when someone shares a story, some imperfections in their life, my ear automatically tunes in.

No one wants to be preached to. So many people shut down as soon as things get “preachy”. I’ve learned this the hard way with my oldest child. When we push our beliefs and desires upon another individual they tend to push back and put us at arms length.

They have their agency, and they will use it to shut out anything we have to say.

That’s why teaching with love is so important. This can only be done from drawing upon our own experiences and imperfections.

Empathy, compassion, love. When we are sincere our message resonates louder than any superficial attempt to do good.

Actions, as we all know, speak louder than words. When we focus on our own imperfections no words are needed to inspire. We need to look inward rather than outward.

Live a good life.

Stand strong.

Endure to the end.

Focus on improving yourself.

Learn from mistakes.

Lead by example.

I promise, people will notice. Through humility we will find how to reach others.

He is Always There

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I know that our Savior loves us and is always there. Looking back at my most difficult trials it is very apparent that his hand was there helping me through and lifting me up. When we put our trust in the world, the world will always disappoint or come up lacking. When we put our trust in the Lord, He always shows up. With Him we can do anything. I believe this with my whole heart.

This is a simple message with few words. What else needs to be said?

Believe in Him.

Trust in Him.

Love Him.

Sometimes, simple messages are the most important ones.

I’d love to hear your testimony of the Savior, please share in the comments below. If you don’t have a testimony yet, I hope you have felt the spirit and can find comfort in this message.

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