Last summer I was able to take a quick trip to Target without kids. I was giddy to get a little shopping in without little ones… you know, doing what little ones do! While driving through the parking lot I noticed an elderly man sitting in the back seat of an old beat up sedan. He kept looking over his shoulder to the entrance of Target. I don’t know why he caught my attention, maybe it was the urgency he seemed to exude as he glanced over his should. For some reason I felt like I needed to take a closer look (usually I am not a stalker!) I made a loop around the lot and ended up finding a spot, a couple of cars away, where I could still see him. Again, he looked over his shoulder at the doors to the store, as if he were anxiously waiting for someone to return. I pulled the keys from the ignition and rummaged through my purse, plopping my phone into it. I glanced at the man again and it became clear he seemed distressed.

I got out of the car feeling awkward. Did this man need help? He was a grown man, surely there was nothing I could do for him. I started to walk down the isle of the parking lot towards the store which led me closer to the man, who didn’t notice I was there.

Once closer with a better view it dawned on me, this man was locked in the car in 95 degree weather! He was an extremely frail looking man, sweat dripped down his forehead and he kept swiping it away. His t-shirt was drenched in sweat as well. I could tell there wasn’t a dry spot on it. It was obvious this man had been locked in the car for a long time.

I walked over to the car not surprised to see the windows were all rolled up. “Do you need help?” I asked the man bending down so he could see me through the window. His face was frantic and he nodded with a weak, “yes”. Without hesitating I pulled the phone from my purse and dialed 911.

Within minutes a police officer arrived and was able to unlock one of the car doors with a special tool, freeing the man. My heart dropped when he stepped from the car, not only was his t-shirt soaked, but the thick jeans he wore were drenched as well. The EMT’s swooped in to care for the man, while the police got a statement from me.

Later, as I pushed my cart through Target, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that I hadn’t had my usual distractions (aka, my rambunctious pack of kids). Would I have noticed the man in the car? I would like to say I would have, but I’m really not sure. It was a busy day at the store, with a full parking lot. How many people had walked by him without noticing? We are all very aware of children left in cars, but who would pay attention to a grown adult?

I tell you this story, because since that time I have realized that in recent years I’ve become less observant to those around me. It was a slow progression that I hadn’t even realized had taken place.

This slow progression reminds me of what it is like when wearing old glasses. I just got a new pair of glasses for the first time in five years (yes, I should take better care of my eyes!) My old glasses were worn, looked ridiculous, and were not even close to the prescription I needed anymore. I’d grown accustomed to the lack of detail. I didn’t think about what I was missing. Once I put on the new pair of lenses, I was in awe at all the extra detail I could see. It wasn’t anything new. I’d seen it all before and yet, I had easily stopped caring what I was missing out on. I think we all get a little lazy on our view of life. We all can get too preoccupied to notice what is right in front of us.

I will be the first to admit that I live in a state of preoccupied… all the time. I am an extremely task oriented person. I usually have a checklist outlined somewhere in my house to help me focus on what needs to be done. When it comes to running a household, I like order. I spend my days being mom: carpooling to school, helping with homework, chauffeuring kids to activities, reading stories, putting kids down for nap time, the usual stuff. Being a mom consumes me. There isn’t anything wrong with this, but I have a tendency to forget to look up and enjoy the beauty around me. I live in my own little snow globe world and it takes effort to look beyond the fictitious glass, to what is on the outside. Frankly, the thought of even trying to do this can exhaust me.

In all the busyness, I can forget to breathe, look up, and take it all in. I forget to take care of myself. At one point, I’d even gotten to a place where showering felt like a chore! Showering was just another thing I had to rush through to check off my list, and lets be honest… most days I never even got around to it (and I have to admit that I still don’t always get around to it)!

Awhile back, I was driving on the freeway and I glanced up and noticed the mountains. It might seem cliche to say that my breath was taken away, but that’s how I felt. I’ve lived in Utah my whole life and the mountains easily tend to blend into the background of a preoccupied mind. I realized then that I go through life with my head down, more metaphorically than literally. For weeks after that, I made an effort to look up and take in the beauty around me. The peace those few moments brought each day, made the burdens I had at the time lighter. Taking a simple moment transformed me. It transformed my perspective on life.

No matter our circumstances, burdens seem easier to bear when we take that much needed breath, step back, and enjoy the extra little details around us that we tend to gloss over. Try to start looking through new lenses, to see what you are missing. Even if it is just a moment to lift your head and notice the small miracles around you. Soak in the little details and enjoy them!

Now lets get cheesy. There is something therapeutic about noticing the tiny details of nature, it’s like medicine for the soul!

An ant carrying a crumb across the sidewalk.

A bird working hard at it’s nest.

The early buds of leaves starting to sprout on the branches of trees that weren’t there the day before.

The bite of a cool breeze brushing through our hair and across our skin.

The smell of rain on the pavement.

I’d venture to guess these are all things we enjoy, but how often do we really notice them? How often do we let ourselves enjoy a moment where we do nothing but sit and take it all in? How often do we enjoy God’s creations? Most of us live in a whirlwind of absolute busyness. It is rare for us to allow ourselves time to really meet our own needs because we are hurriedly trying to meet everyone else’s needs instead.

It’s okay to take care of yourself first

At times there seems to be a stigma about caring for ourselves before others. I’ve been in several conversations where someone is going through a difficult trial in their life, or suffering from depression, and a well meaning individual starts talking about service. Yes, forgetting about ourselves in the service of others is an amazing thing! It really can help pull us through when we need it the most. But, it is impossible to give ourselves to others if we are merely an empty shell.

I work at a children’s hospital and often have parents, who are extremely worried to leave their child’s bedside. Many of them haven’t showered for days, forgotten to eat several meals, and are severely lacking in sleep. Some are barely functioning after a couple of days of frantic worry. Whenever I see this, I sit down with the parents and discuss with them the need to care not only for the child, but for themselves as well. We talk about how they can care for their child so much more, if they are meeting their own needs. It is amazing the difference I often see after they take a quick shower, or go for a little walk by themselves.

“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”

Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

Self care is not a selfish act. Meeting our own needs makes us more equipped to take on our daily tasks. Life is busy, especially as a parent. We run ourselves ragged! Never underestimate the importance of taking a little breather for ourselves, no matter how small it may be. How can we possibly be fully aware of the needs of others if we are constantly ignoring, or aren’t even aware, of what our own needs are?

It would be fantastic if we could all check out on our responsibilities once a week and have a designated self care day. That is unbelievably laughable, right? No one has time for that! So the majority of self care we get comes in little moments throughout the day. A moment we pause, step back, and cleanse our minds of any useless internal dialogue, and just breath. Sometimes this requires briefly walking away from children or other busy environments. When we are at our whits end, overwhelmed, depressed, or frustrated, this is a useful tool to have in our survival belt.

So remember to stop and take care of yourself! Even if it means taking that tiny break I mentioned earlier by simply looking up and out of your own little snow globe of a world you live in. Take a breath. Enjoy the good. Not just in nature, but in all aspects of your life. Maybe it’s the way your kids are actually playing together and it’s adorable. Maybe it’s the way your spouse left you the last piece of your favorite dessert. Maybe it’s the way your eighty year old neighbors still hold hands when they take their daily walks. Maybe it’s by adding just an extra minute or two to the shower you usually rush through.

With social distancing we have been given a rare opportunity to stop, take that breath, and become more aware. Our usual routines are disrupted, making it a great time for self evaluation and starting new habits. It’s time to take a look at those details we so easily overlook. COVID-19 has impacted every individual differently. Some of us have found ourselves stuck in our homes with more time on our hands than we have ever wanted. Others, such as healthcare workers, or mom’s with school age children, may be busier than ever. Either way, learning to look beyond our distractions at our own current needs is a valuable skill.

Being aware helps us care for others

We have all had phases in our life, where we have more time on our hands to reach out to people. There are also times we might be on the verge of tears when we are asked to add one more thing to our plate. I’ve been there. I’ve felt completely overwhelmed by the mere thought of doing some big gesture to help someone else out. There are times I’ve been hanging on by a thread and I couldn’t think beyond the needs of my own family. It is okay to feel this way! We have all been there!

The interesting fact is when we do what I am suggesting, and take that small breather, we tend to notice those around us more. This puts us in a situation where we can reach out and help someone in need! Much like the elderly man trapped in the car. What if I hadn’t looked up and been more aware of my surroundings? What if I had my “task oriented brain” turned on and was only tuned into what I needed to buy and finding a closer parking spot?

It is an amazing thing, when we take a moment to look up. We notice little ways we can help others. It doesn’t always take some grand gesture of service. When we take a moment to be more aware of our surroundings we notice great opportunities to lend a helping hand. Like a cute old lady at the grocery store trying to reach a jar on the top shelf but coming up empty handed. The mere seconds it takes to step in and help her out can put a smile on her face, and ours for the rest of the day. This type of service may seem simple and take very little of our time, and yet it can be just as impactful to the person we are helping with any grand service project.

“Kindness and awareness work together. Through awareness we understand the underlying beauty of everything and every being.”

Amit Ray, Nonviolence: The Transforming Power

I urge all of us to look up and practice awareness. The more we do this the more we will come to realize how awareness and service go hand in hand. It is great that awareness has a two fold consequence! The first one is for our own personal benefit; when we are aware (take that breath and step back) our spirits soar, it rejuvenates us and brings us peace. The second consequence is it provides opportunities to serve, blessing so many other lives beyond our own.

Be aware of all things

I bear my personal witness that the Father is at this moment aware of you, your feelings, and the spiritual and temporal needs of everyone around you.

Henry B. Eyring, His Spirit to Be with You, April 2018

Our own Heavenly Father is aware of us and our needs. He is aware! Isn’t it about time we start pondering what our own needs are according to his will? If He is aware of my needs, I want to be more aware of them as well. I want to be ready when he calls upon me as a tool to meet the needs of another. I want to be aware of those around me and their needs. This can only be done through being aware and tuned into the Holy Spirit, and by being aware of those around us.

It would be amazing to put on the lenses of God and see the world how he sees it. To see his children the way he sees them. To see our family, neighbors, friends, and even strangers as He sees them. What a marvelous perspective to strive for! To see ourselves as He sees us. If we could share this view I can only imagine the infinite love that would fill our souls.

So take time to breath, and look up. Take time to listen to the Spirit’s promptings. We will be guided on how to meet our own needs as well as others. As we take these moments throughout the day and pause, we will be guided and blessed by the spirit. We will find peace and feel rejuvenated to take on any responsibility, no matter how daunting it may be. When we do this, we will likely find someone who is in need of our help, and find joy in serving.

It is time to practice being aware, just as our Heavenly Father is aware of all things.

What does being aware, just like our Heavenly Father is aware, mean to you? Please comment below on your insights!